Updated: Jul 18, 2018
We're culturally obsessed with closure. We have been taught to man up. Move on. Hide our feelings. Get over it. Worst of all, I have heard many many times that I need to just simply look on the bright side. No. We do not need to look on the bright side. We need to look on the dark side and scour every corner of that darkness. What the world needs is not false positivity. We need brave, self-realized humans who know how to locate an inner strength built upon resilience and resourcefulness.
A well-rounded life is going to mean you are constantly bouncing back and forth slingshotting from dark to light, high to low, and intimately feeling everything in between.
Pain for me, has been a portal. It didn’t matter where I had come from. It only mattered where I intended to go. I learned a new language about life and death and friendship and love outside of religious dogma and pretentious spiritual materialism. I found a new way to my personal version of holy, and of course, the path continues to unfold. Most days, I have no idea what I’m doing. But that’s part of it too I suppose.
If you are heartbroken now, or when you find yourself facing the imminent onslaught of sadness, my hope is that you don’t listen to anything that mainstream culture has taught you about how to resist and repress what makes you most human. Instead, reach for your anguish and hold it close. Look on the dark side. Even and especially if it initially repels you.
Change and vulnerability will always be irritating and gross and shit-stormy. I know. It sucks. It’s awful. But that’s how you know you’re onto something.
Quite possibly, a truth in you that's been waiting to be known.